I have really neglected this blog. I think it was because I was neglecting myself. I was neglecting my relationship with God. So, I was embarrassed to come here and put myself out there. I worked really hard to turn my life around and become a person that I could be proud of. Life has been pretty bumpy lately, it seems like every day has been hard. When things got rough, instead of leaning on God, I tried to lean on myself. Clearly, the wrong choice. Basically, I am stubborn and I did the absolute wrong thing.
The good news is, I'm doing my best to get back to the person that I know God wants me to be. I'm so full of flaws its unreal. I have a temper, I gossip, sometimes I say bad words, and all of those things are things that I have to work on. I always find myself feeling guilty about those things, but I don't think that is what God wants me to feel. It is impossible to be perfect. There is only one person who has ever lived that was sinless. I was created in His image, but I will never be perfect. All He wants from me is my whole heart. He wants me to show love to everyone, he wants me to live for Him, He wants me to ask for forgiveness when I mess up. And I do mess up. Regularly.
I think that has been a hard pill to swallow. That if God can forgive me, I should be able to forgive me too. Forgiving yourself can be the hardest thing in the world. He knew I had fallen away but no matter what, He welcomes me back with open arms. Redemption is always possible. It is always there. All we have to do is ask.
Its a humbling thought. That it is as simple as that. We are so blessed to serve a God who forgives anything. So, even though I know I will inevitably screw up ten thousand more times, He will always love me.
The good news is, I'm doing my best to get back to the person that I know God wants me to be. I'm so full of flaws its unreal. I have a temper, I gossip, sometimes I say bad words, and all of those things are things that I have to work on. I always find myself feeling guilty about those things, but I don't think that is what God wants me to feel. It is impossible to be perfect. There is only one person who has ever lived that was sinless. I was created in His image, but I will never be perfect. All He wants from me is my whole heart. He wants me to show love to everyone, he wants me to live for Him, He wants me to ask for forgiveness when I mess up. And I do mess up. Regularly.
I think that has been a hard pill to swallow. That if God can forgive me, I should be able to forgive me too. Forgiving yourself can be the hardest thing in the world. He knew I had fallen away but no matter what, He welcomes me back with open arms. Redemption is always possible. It is always there. All we have to do is ask.
Its a humbling thought. That it is as simple as that. We are so blessed to serve a God who forgives anything. So, even though I know I will inevitably screw up ten thousand more times, He will always love me.